Social Media: The Quest for Perfection

The rise of social media over the last ten years has brought many positive changes to our world. It has given great financial opportunities to regular people that otherwise may not have had them. It has provided its users with instant entertainment at their fingertips. It has made building businesses easier and produced new, fresh marketing techniques. It allows people to connect with others far and wide, without even leaving home. And information is available with one click. Even with all these benefits, social media has a dark side. We've all heard the quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and social media illustrates this very well.

If you've been on social media long enough, you remember the rise of Myspace and Facebook. Myspace began in 2005 and made its way to being the most prominent social media network by 2008. Facebook was created shortly after as a social media platform for college students, and it exploded in 2006 when it was made available to all social media users. Both networks became huge culture shifters. These networks birthed all the other ones we know today, such as Instagram, Snapchat, and the like. However, these networks were much more organic in their earlier stages. These networks were platforms for regular people to share their everyday lives with the world. Much has changed since those days. Social media now has such a prominent existence in our lives. 69% of adults and 81% of teens are currently social media users. Everywhere you go, you see people scrolling on their phones. It seems harmless in general, but sometimes, it isn't.

Teens nowadays do not get a chance to live a life without social media. Millennials can remember when social media didn't exist, but the generations after that cannot. Children as young as 11 are toting around cell phones and operating social media accounts. If you got bullied in school back in the day, you could at least relax once school was out, knowing you didn't have to deal with those people until the next day. Bullying is no longer just a schoolyard activity; it follows children home. Social media is a vehicle for bullying. Children get tormented on various apps and have no real escape. It isn't even unheard of to see adults participating in bullying each other. Hiding behind a screen gives certain people a boost in "confidence" that they usually would not have in person. A lot of this gets dismissed by people as "It's just social media," but like anything, it can have dire effects if continuous. Social media has become a catalyst for an uptick in depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and behavior in teens and young adults.

One might think this would happen less with adults, but that isn't always the case. Now, women are being held to highly unrealistic body images. How is an average woman expected to mimic the look of a surgically enhanced body that's dressed in filters and editing? Why is she even expected to? Why is this now the standard? There has been a rise in cosmetic surgery as a result. Women are dying on operating tables, trying to acquire the body they believe will make them more desirable or marketable. Seeing teenage girls planning out all the surgical procedures they want to have before their bodies even finish developing is a disturbing trend. There is no need for a "BBL" procedure right after you walk across the graduation stage. Having cosmetic surgery is not bad, but sometimes we must evaluate why we think it is necessary. Not everyone is supposed to look the same, and we must get to a place where individuality is celebrated.

There is also an unspoken timeline that people feel their life has to abide by to be seen as successful. It always appears that everyone on social media seemingly has it all together. Users often forget that they view other people's highlight reels, not their reality. People can also create whatever reality they want through what they post. Your life is not a failure if you don't make six figures by age 22 or if you don't own ten businesses by 30. You don't even have to own a business if you don't want to. Entrepreneurship is terrific for those passionate about it, but it isn't for everyone, even if that meme says it should be. There is nothing shameful about a 9-to-5 job. And you don't have to buy land with your earnings or invest it in Forex schemes either.

This generation has also seen a gradual decline in marriages and relationships. Some of that could be attributed to women making more money and leaving unhealthy relationships with more ease than their grandmothers or people simply not seeing marriage as necessary anymore. However, we must acknowledge the effect of social media on this. Social media allows its users to connect with far more people than they would without it. Now everyone feels that they have more options than they probably really do. You might keep clicking if you genuinely believe that the next DM or followback may bring you a Beyonce or a Morris Chestnut. Most of this is entirely unrealistic and rooted in fantasy. Social media brings such a false sense of intimacy that we can believe whatever we want without dealing with reality. This behavior can cause people to miss out on genuine connections in favor of chasing "Relationship goals" or particular aesthetics they see plastered up and down their timeline. So if we are all chasing fantasies and unrealistic goals, how could we end up in relationships or married?

So how do we start getting back to reality? One thing is to be mindful of how much time you are spending on social media. You don't have to delete it but take steps to reduce the level of influence. If you feel like your mental health is being affected, it is time to take a break and limit your daily usage. Another thing is to assess your reasoning for posting certain things or spending so much time on certain pages. It has been shown that receiving likes and admiration on social media can produce dopamine like exercise, sunlight, and sex do. Getting addicted to that feeling isn't healthy. If you find yourself posting photos and obsessing over the number of likes and comments, it's time to reevaluate. During the breaks, spend time with your family and friends away from social media. Also, spend time practicing being grateful. We are all blessed somehow, and reminding yourself of that may help to alleviate these feelings. Enjoy social media for its entertainment and the abundant opportunities it provides, but don't let what you consume end up consuming you.